Top Menu

Archive | Clearing Soul Clutter

Create a Vision to Aim Your Arrows

I know something about you, darling. You have these delicious nuggets of desire, big dreams, and these longings of ideas that you know would work if you Aim the Arrow!dared.

You don’t move forward because you don’t know where to start. Or that inner voice inside of you tells you that you can’t succeed. Or you believe that you’re too old (or too fat or too uneducated).

Or maybe, just maybe, you believe that you don’t deserve to even verbalize your dreams, let alone achieve them.

Despite what you are thinking, darling, let me share with you that it’s possible.

Dreams don’t have to take place only at night, you can bring them into the light of day. Desires and beautiful glimpses into how you want to feel at the end of the day. Ideas can be nourished into reality.

But what I know is that you can’t just keep the dreams, longings and ideas in the “thinking” stage. No, darling, you have to take some action.

It’s why I’m crazy about creating a vision and a plan.

You see, creating a vision means that you’ll begin to be honest about what your heart desires. It means you’ll acknowledge the pieces of your life that you are simply tolerating.  Creating a vision means that you make a priority around what’s really important.

Creating a plan means that you know where to aim the arrow. You put your time, energy, and money to what matters.  Creating a plan allows you to plot your path.

By knowing where to aim your arrows, it will allow you to know where to begin. It’ time to shush that inner critic by taking action.

And darling, let me tell you: you are never too old, you are never too far gone, and you are never limited by a lack of education or other “too muchs”.

It’s time to choose love over fear.

It’s time to take a leap of faith into your desires.

Because, darling, it’s time to create the life of your dreams.

Need help creating a vision and a plan? Want more details? Click Here to learn more about Clearing Soul Clutter (Creating Your Vision).

2015 – Course Dates:

  • Sunday, March 29, 2015 to Tuesday, April 28, 2015
  • Sunday, September 13, 2015 to Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Planting Bulbs,Vision & Faith

W hen my ex-husband moved out of our house after seventeen years there together,  one of the first things I did was head to a local home improvement store to buy flowers. Though that was almost a decade ago, I can still clearly see the gold and bronze mums I purchased. Planting tulipsthem allowed me to get in touch with nature, a surefire way help me feel centered. It also allowed me to immediately transform a space.

I would be lying if I didn’t tell you that at times, I’m an instant-gratification kind of gal. I’d rather walk into a store and buy something than order it. I’d rather cook a meal than go through the process of driving somewhere, waiting for a table, and then waiting again for someone else to cook it. And when it comes to yard work, there’s nothing like clearing a flowerbed of weeds.

Best of all, though, is going to the landscaping store and purchasing pots of healthy flowers, then coming home and transplanting them into pots or flowerbeds, changing dull and boring to beautiful and awesome. The whole process makes me feel accomplished.

And no, I’ve never really enjoyed the process of planting flower seeds. There’s too long of a delay from planting to bloom. (And these days, you don’t really save much money).

I adore flowers. They show a sense of love around a home, whether in the yard or in vases around the house.

In addition to roses, spring and summer brought petunias and impatiens. The previous owners had planted a half-dozen tulips and a few crocuses. Our first fall in this house, I gifted JB a dozen daffodils, despite not yet knowing when (or if) I was going to live here.

Now that we’ve been here together for more than three years, I’ve seen what joy these few early spring shows of color have brought both of us. So, even though I’m much more satisfied with the whole process of buying flowers-in-bloom and planting them, in early September I spent some time envisioning an early spring display of tulips, hyacinths and daffodils.

The thing about tulips and daffodils and all those other early spring flowers, though, is that you have to plant them in the fall. Then, you have to wait through winter and the earliest days of spring for them to work through the displacement of earth and bloom.

This is a huge exercise for me not only in patience, but also in the process of creating a vision and a plan of action.  It’s a reminder to me that  transformations (that last) only seem to happen in an instant. And it’s a giant leap of faith.

Let’s talk about creating a vision and a plan. Darling, I believe that one of the best ways to live a life that you love is to begin with a vision of how you want to live it. You envision some of the big stuff: what kind of work sets your soul on fire, what kinds of relationships make you feel nourished and supported, and where you want to live.

You also envision some of the little stuff, too. Like, what kind of activities and rituals would create the perfect first hour of your day. And how you want to feel when you climb into bed at night. These little details will help you realize when you’re on the right track towards that BIG Juicy vision of living. They are clues and rewards.

Then, if you want to take a vision into reality, you must take action. I’m not an advocate of planning each and every moment of the day, but I do know that you need to plan for the milestones.

Plans in my world are things like creating an outline for your book. Or following the Couch Potato to 5K milestones of adding time to your runs. Or redecorating your home by beginning with a new sofa. What doesn’t mean planning to me? A dictatorial view of living with each moment planned. You still want to allow for a little serendipity!

Creating a vision means that you give up the idea the all transformations happen instantaneously. We are human and though making a decision can have the instant mindset affect, we still have to be willing to be patient. This is another area where visions and plan marry well.

Creating a vision is also a heck of a lot about faith.

It means that you can see yourself as being worthy of accomplishing a big goal. It means that you have a desire to break through resistance and move towards what you desire. It means choosing love instead of fear.

Having faith means that you’re willing to invest in your vision. Maybe it’s by taking a class, hiring a coach, or buying something with the gut knowledge that it’s going to serve you in the future.

Having faith also means that you are willing to take leaps without knowing how things are going to turn out. It means waiting through he really dark and cold times that are inevitable in the course of being human, because, baby, life is never going to be always perfect.

So, yes, planting bulbs this week was an example of the way I now approach life.  To be honest, the me almost a decade ago couldn’t have done this.

I had this vision of a beautiful display of early spring flowers. I planned a variety of flowers to take advantage of different colors, heights, and bloom time. I invested money and time into the planning and ordering. Then, when the bulbs arrived, I invested time and energy into planting.

And now comes the faith part. I have to have faith that the bulbs were planted at the right depth and will make it through the winter. I have to have faith that they bloom. I also have to have faith that I’ll stay healthy and be able to see them.

My gut tells me that this small plan of flowers is about something bigger. It’s about investing in my relationship and my home. It’s about nurturing myself and JB.

It’s also about love. Loving myself enough to understand that I deserve the life I envision. Loving myself enough to know that I don’t have to transform overnight to deserve love.

What about you? Do you have a vision for your life? Is there a small portion that you can envision the details? Is it time to begin creating a plan for your life instead of just living by the seat of your pants? Are you willing to step out in faith for your vision?

Are you ready to write your own love story?

PS – Need help creating a vision? Want more details? Click Here to learn more about Clearing Soul Clutter (Creating Your Vision).

2015 – Course Dates:

  • Sunday, March 29, 2015 to Tuesday, April 28, 2015
  • Sunday, September 13, 2015 to Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Getting Back on the Saddle to Living a Life You Love

No matter who you are or what you desire in your life, there will have been a time when you feel as if you’ve gotten off track to your goals and desires.

And I get it. We move forward two paces and take one step back. Then we make these huge leaps forward and need to stand still and catch our dale-buttermilk-tvbreath.  It’s part of the cycle of living.

There will be a time during this cycle when you realize it was time for me to get back in the saddle, so to speak.

Maybe, like me, you got off track in your goals around fitness because you got involved in a project for work. Maybe you were working on a book, or wrote in your journal lately, but had to handle a family crisis.

Or maybe, you just got frustrated because you weren’t getting the exact outcome you desired.

I thought we’d venture out together and get back on the saddle of living the life of our deepest desires. Because, baby I’m all about boldly towards a goal, dream or desire. And I know that you have big dreams and goals, too.

So, here’s fourteen tricks for getting back in the saddle towards what you want.  Because, baby, it’s never too late to get back on the horse, even if you fell of years ago!

Say Hello to Awareness

Be honest with yourself and examine the past few months in your life. Where exactly did you get off path? What was the trigger? What was the fear around it? When did a delight become a should?  This isn’t about beating yourself up for stopping your forward motion or abandoning an idea. It’s simply looking with curiosity, and stepping away from judgment. Awareness is a beautiful thing!

Listen to Your Heart

What do you want, darling? Don’t choose some unrealistic goal based on some arbitrary outside expectation. Figure out how you want to feel and create a goal focused on that feeling. Listen to the soft voice of your heart for the answers, because your heart knows what you really desire. Don’t hesitate to dive into mediation or prayer. And don’t underestimate the value of working things out on paper. (Clearing Brain Clutter is a spectacular way to figure out what you want)

Allow Yourself a Fresh Start

Every day is an opportunity to begin fresh.  You can adjust your focus, change your words of the year, get back on path and rededicate yourself to your desires any day. Give yourself permission.

Create a Plan

Though rigidity isn’t a way to move forward with a lasting change, it’s hard to go in any direction without a plan. This doesn’t have to be a detailed plan, but at least create a general plan based on how you want to feel and the vision of where you want to go. (Clearing Soul Clutter begins Oct. 12th and can help)

Focus on One Thing

I’m a huge fan of big change and know that it’s possible. I did it at the end of 2010. I also know that big changes don’t happen overnight. Choose one are of your life to focus on and allow the others to fall into place. Trying to “fix” everything at once will be like throwing spaghetti at the wall: some of it will stick, some of it will fall to the wayside, and no matter where it lands, you’re going to have a mess. Honing your focus to one thing allows you to create a habit that sticks before you tackle something new.

Save the Date

Like choosing a date for a wedding, mark a date on your calendar that will signal the First Day of your new plan to begin. Like the first day of fall or the first day of school, choosing a date comforts your mind and gives you a target for giving your intention legs. Mark it on your calendar. Share this date with friends or family members. Tweet it. Blog it. Sing it to the world.

Embrace Structure

Don’t underestimate how supportive nourishing routines can be.  While they may seem restrictive, routines are actually about freedom.  Routines help you manage your energy effectively so that you can channel it towards your real desires and purpose.  Routines fuel your day and nourish your spirit. What structure do you need to put into place to support your goal or desire?

Add Review

A weekly review allows you to really sharpen your intuitive focus so that the things that really matter to you don’t fall away in the busy-ness.   It lets you to see where you’ve been and where you’re heading. A weekly review is one of the keys to staying on top of projects and assignments while helping keep you on track for your goals. This is the time to ask if what you’re doing is actually moving you towards your desired feeling.

Create a Minimum Weekly Requirement

As a part of my weekly review time, I create a minimum weekly requirement for the coming week. Maybe it’s 10 minutes of writing a day or a walk three days next week. Maybe it’s 100 push-ups during the coming week. Commit to a minimum for the coming week that feels both doable and a bit of a push.

Make No Excuses

Be honest with yourself about what you’ve done and where you are. Not meet your minimum weekly requirement?  Why?  You don’t have to answer to anyone but yourself, but no matter what bumps in the road you had, don’t make excuses or justify why you didn’t.  Choose to accept you did what you could, the best that you could, and move forward.

Forgive Yourself

I’m all about the concept of Compassionate Discipline. As humans want to experience pleasure over pain (at least most of the time).  Words like “goals” “discipline” and “action” seem worlds away from pleasure.  Of course I want to feel good.  I want ease and flow!  I want unlimited cupcakes, lattes and days where my writing flows and my morning run is fabulous.

Compassionate discipline brings  clarity and deliberateness to the game and trumps that a momentary tantrum.

It also means that when we don’t meet our goals, we don’t beat ourselves up.  Instead, compassionate discipline allows us to forgive ourselves and move forward.

Treat Yourself

Set up rewards for yourself for moving forward. Maybe it’s flowers from the grocery store or a coffee date with a friend. Maybe it’s a special date night or new mascara. My reward for sticking to better body care has been the bi-weekly commitment of a regular massage.

Be Accountable & Get Help

Get someone else on your team.  Though you have to do the work yourself, it doesn’t mean that you can’t get support or get help.  Hire a coach. Join a class. Find a trainer. Get a walking buddy. Tell your best friend. Enlist your partner. Give someone else permission to ask where you are on your goals. (JB is my accountability partner on my movement goals and we’re stretching together!)


Darling, there’s nothing better than a little celebration about your progress. Record it in your journal. Tweet it. Brag on your Facebook Page. Don’t make light of your accomplishments! It isn’t egotistical to celebrate.

Darling, life is indeed short, but it is never too late to create the kind of life you desire. And in order to create that life you want – and deserve – it means you have to take action. Try these tricks for getting back in the saddle around one of your goals.  So, fess up: what area of your life do you want to change before the end of the year? What do you want to create? What do you want, baby?

Image is of the Lovely Dale Evans, whom I met when I was 12. Her mother was in the same hospital as my grandmother.She was long retired and an utterly beautiful human soul.

IWant more details? Click Here to learn more about Clearing Soul Clutter (Creating Your Vision).

2015 – Course Dates:

  • Sunday, March 29, 2015 to Tuesday, April 28, 2015
  • Sunday, September 13, 2015 to Tuesday, October 13, 2015

A Vision Begins with Awareness

Once upon a time, I believed that I could fix my life (and my marriage) by getting Redfintailcarskinny, making a lot of money and surrounding myself with stuff.  I created unrealistic ideals of how life would be “perfect” if I could just get “there.”

And I believed that by getting “there” I would suddenly change all of the screwed up dynamics in my family.

In the meantime, I put on all the masks and disguises to make it appear as if I were living the perfect white-picket-fence life.  And, frankly my dear, it was exhausting.

So, a few things were wrong with my thinking:

  • I believed that looking at – and changing – external factors could create satisfaction with life.
  • I believed in the mythical “there” and that if I could just reach “there” I would be happy.
  • I believed that I could change others by morphing myself into who they wanted me to be.
  • I believed that what I wanted and desired wasn’t important.
  • I believed all kinds of “truths” about myself. I believed lies and excuses over what I knew in my heart.

And then, one day, the lock on the gate to my perfect white-picket fence-appearing life rusted right off and the gate opened.  For months (and months) I gazed upon the grass outside the open gate, too afraid to put a toe across the line.

And, as anyone who has taken their own walk through the fire will tell you, I had to hit rock bottom in my marriage and life in order to gather enough courage to walk out that damned gate.

What did it take for me to put on my big-girl panties and my best high heels?

A real good understanding of this thing called “acceptance,” and the realization  that I no longer wanted to tolerate a hell of a lot of things in my life.

  • I didn’t want to tolerate a façade of a marriage.
  • I didn’t want to tolerate a life without love, intimacy and sex.
  • I didn’t want to tolerate sacrificing my dreams in an attempt to make someone else happy.
  • I didn’t want to tolerate the constant wearing of masks in every moment of existence.
  • I didn’t want to tolerate not living and not creating.
  • I didn’t want to tolerate ignoring my basic needs of self-care.
  • I didn’t want to tolerate having no faith in myself, my innate creativity or my intuition.

So, what did I do?  I put on some sexy high heels, armored myself with stockings and lipstick, and gathered enough faith and courage to step out of the damned gate.

Of course, now that I had this epiphany around the concepts of love and faith and courage, I became impatient to get  to create change.  NOW.  I wanted to jump ahead and transform my life overnight.

I wanted to leave every single thing I had tolerated for so many years behind.

Let me tell you, sister.   Though fairy tales and rock stars make us believe that there is an opportunity to be an overnight success, in reality, that just doesn’t happen.  You have to begin exactly where you are.

Change takes time. It’s about baby steps.  It’s about choosing a destination and plotting a course. And it’s about beginning to move forward.

I believe that amazing and radical changes are possible.  But they don’t happen overnight.  You plant seeds, push the dirt of resistance aside, and eventually you begin to bloom.

The true keys to creating a life you love include:

  • Awareness of where you are and what you are tolerating.
  • Accepting the fact that you can only begin where you are (and that you cannot skip ahead to the fun or juicy parts).
  • Creating a vision of who you want to be, what you want to do with you time and your life, and how you want that to look.
  • Planning the steps on how to get there.
  • Taking action.  Yes, darling, you have to get dirt under you nails.

I’ll be flat out honest with you, baby: sometimes growing in awareness and clarity can be painful, especially if you judge yourself for what you might see.

And it isn’t sexy.  In fact, during my most aware moments, I was a hot mess.

But then, there is the other side of awareness: it’s like stepping into a crystal clear stream on a hot Texas Day: cooling and refreshing.

Refreshing because you are taking off your masks and standing in the glorious nakedness of who you were born to be in this world.

And when you begin leaning into the awareness…accepting where you are… this is when you begin creating a life you want to live instead of simply existing or reacting.

What about you, darling?  Are you ready to make changes in your life?  Are you ready to let go of the excuses?  Are you ready to be honest with yourself as to what you really desire in your life?

What is the brutal reality of the number one thing you are tolerating?

Are you ready to be held accountable for what you say you want?  Are you ready to take responsibility for changing your life and let go of the blame game?

Then, darling.  It’s time.  It’s time to embrace the awareness.  Yes, darling, the good, the bad and the ugly parts of it.  It’s time to take that awareness, accept where you are and create a plan to make your dreams a reality.

You can do it, darling.  You deserve it. I have so much faith.

Are you where I was a decade ago:  standing on the edges afraid to take that first step into awareness?  Want help hashing out a vision and a plan in order to create a life you love? Get some help.

Create your Big Juicy Vision + a Plan: 30 Days to Clarity – Clearing Soul Clutter – Creating Your Vision
Want more details? Click Here to learn more about Clearing Soul Clutter (Creating Your Vision).

2015 – Course Dates:

  • Sunday, March 29, 2015 to Tuesday, April 28, 2015
  • Sunday, September 13, 2015 to Tuesday, October 13, 2015

And if group coaching isn’t your thing, check out my one-on-one coaching opportunities.  Schedule a chat with me.  And if we aren’t a fit? Ask me for a referral to a coach who may better fit your needs.

A Road Map for Your Soul

There is a sweet beauty to serendipity. We meet a new lover by chance. We cross paths with an old friend. We find the perfect dress for that upcoming event. We wander into a nifty coffee shop and discover the perfect writing environment.

roadtrip2The spirit of serendipity has brought me to some of the best moments in my life.

Life is like this amazing road trip: there are all kinds of fascinating and fabulous places to stop along the way.

I never would have experience the wonders of my gypsy years with it. And, in fact, I never would have met JB if it weren’t for a serendipitous moment in DC.

But let me tell you something, darling.

If you want to create a life you love on this road trip of life, you can’t rely only on serendipity, you need a road map for your soul.

You need a vision. And a plan.

Let’s be honest here. Most of us (including me in the past!) simply exist. We become passive spectators, watching life unfold a day at a time.

We may plan a vacation, the building of a new home or their careers, but don’t think about creating a vision or plan for life. We put more effort into a wedding than we put into the actual living of a blended life.

We tell ourselves that if we create a plan, we’ll miss out on the serendipity.

I get it. And though I hate the word “balance” when it comes to our soul’s purpose, there is this beautiful space of greater satisfaction that can be achieved with just a little forethought. This happens when you create a vision for your life, a plan to achieve your most important dreams, and allow for adventure.

Darling, life is short. And you deserve to be squeezing every drop of living out of it.

I wish I could tell you the number of people that find themselves disillusioned, discouraged and unhappy. They get into their late 30’s, 40’s, or even 70’s and wonder what went wrong. Their career feels stalled, their marriage feels broken, or maybe their health is failing.

It’s a point where a person may wonder, “what the hell am I doing here? I thought that I would be there.

But here’s the real deal: it doesn’t have to be this way. You can choose, no matter how young or old you are, to create a vision for your life and a plan to reach your dreams.

Still not sure about this whole concept of creating a Vision and a Plan for your life? Here are six delicious reasons to consider it.

roadtrip1Creating a vision will help you identify your current realities.

You can’t get where you want to go unless you start with where you are. What are the most brutal realities of your life? Where are you falling short? Where do you know you need to improve? Taking stock and making peace with who we are has to be the starting ground.

Creating a vision will equip you with envisioning a better future.

Yes, you need to need to acknowledge where you are, but you also need to see clearly where you are going. What do you want in each of the major categories of your life? What would they look like in their ideal state?

This is where it starts to get fun! You. Creating a big juicy vision for your life.

Taking your vision and creating a life plan gives you a place to aim the arrow.

Then comes your life plan. This isn’t about a set-in-stone list of steps and to-do’s. It doesn’t have to be complicated.

No, darling, this is a road map for accomplishing what matters most. It’s about knowing where you are, setting your destination and plotting your course to get there. Darling, to achieve your dreams, you need to take action. And a life plan gives you the fuel to be bolder.

Creating a vision will help you clarify your most important priorities.

Identifying your priorities and values helps you mark the milestones on your course. Your boss has priorities for you. You were always given objectives in school and college. But what about you? Do you have a list? What is important to you?

Creating a vision will help you say “no” to things that aren’t important.

Once you have said “yes” to what matters most, you are in a great position to say “no” to those activities that matter less. Suddenly you have the clarity—and the courage—to manage your opportunities rather than to be managed by them.

A vision and a plan is like road side assistance.

You want to enjoy this road trip of life. And you certainly can’t control everything. There are going to be bumps and detours and road construction along the way. But creating a vision and a plan gives you the insurance of help as you travel. Your vision will dramatically improve your chances of arriving at your destination feeling joyful, content, and satisfied.

It will be clear to you that you really lived.

If you’re ready to create a map for your soul   Clearing Soul Clutter – Creating Your Vision  may be your ticket to not just the map, but plotting your route. Want more details? Click Here to learn more about Clearing Soul Clutter (Creating Your Vision).

2015 – Course Dates:

  • Sunday, March 29, 2015 to Tuesday, April 28, 2015
  • Sunday, September 13, 2015 to Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Create a Vision. Create a Plan. Live a Life You Love.

A recent notice from my local library was the signal that it was time to take a short digital sabbatical.    You see, I had checked readingbyfireout a book by a favorite author – the latest book in a series I’ve been reading for a decade and three weeks later, I hadn’t even cracked it open.

My typical consumption of fiction is usually a book (or more) a week, but the last three books I’ve read were all work related.

Don’t get me wrong.  I love my work.  I adore my clients. I love reading books for work.  But, baby, I’ve devoured fiction for as long as I could read, and this year, I just haven’t been reading enough romantic fluff (or spy novels).

And for me, this is a signal that I am off-plan.

Though I love the beauty of serendipity and believe it has a huge place in our lives, I also believe that in order to create big things in your life, you need a vision – and a loose plan.

Visions are an overhead view of the pieces that create a life you love.

When I look at my big juicy vision, it includes work that lights up my soul, excellent meals created with my own two hands, passionate kisses, glasses of wine under the moonlight, and a ravenous consumption of all things prose in cozy chairs and poolside.

You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m also a realist.

In order to make my vision come to fruition, it’s going two more things:  a plan and taking action.  You need a plan because without a target to aim at, it’s throwing spaghetti on the wall.   And darling, if you think you can make a vision a reality without taking action, you’ll be stuck in the “dreamer” space.

Part of being a realist is understanding that sometimes  I’m going to get dirt under my fingernails. You have to be willing to do the work. Sometimes, you have to know when to ease up on yourself.  And sometimes, darling, you have to shake things up when a big chunk of your vision is missing.

For me, unplugging is mixing it up.  It’s changing the day-to-day rhythm of being electronically connected with folks near and far. To force the pendulum to swing in another direction (or else stop and reset).

At the end of the week, I’ll have an idea if it’s my vision that needs adjustment, my plan that needs tweaking, or if all I needed was a big dose of relaxation (and a stack of novels).

What about you?  Do you have a vision?  Are you living life by the seat of your pants?  Or are you holding so tightly to a plan of how things are “supposed” to look, that you’re about to snap that plan in half?

If you’re seeking clarity around what you most desire, Clearing Soul Clutter  may be the ticket you’ve been seeking. Want more details? Click Here to learn more about Clearing Soul Clutter (Creating Your Vision).

2015 – Course Dates:

  • Sunday, March 29, 2015 to Tuesday, April 28, 2015
  • Sunday, September 13, 2015 to Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Powered by WordPress. Designed by Woo Themes