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Clutter Blocks Your Dreams

What’s standing in the way of bringing your dreams into your reality? What’s keeping you from leaning into those secret desires? What’s clutteryclosetstopping you from taking that next baby step towards the kind of daily life you crave?

What if I told you one of the things in the way of your dreams was clutter?

Now, now. I see you rolling your eyes there. And muttering to yourself that I’m not working with a full deck of cards today as I write.

From the depths of my heart, I share this little nugget of wisdom with you because for most of my life, I allowed all kinds of clutter to stop me from moving forward into the kind of life I desired. The kind of nourishing daily life each and every one of us deserves.

Clutter comes in many forms. Mental clutter. Calendar clutter. Spiritual clutter. And, of course, physical clutter.

The mountains of laundry that need to be washed or folded. The stacks and stacks of books we’re going to read so that we can find the magic solution to fixing our lives. The piles of shoes at the door and the unwearable clothes crowding our closets crowd us from peaceful entry and exit into our own lives.

We try to fill the void in our lives with stuff. We attempt to buy our way to a perfect life, believing that if we have the right clothes or shoes or living room couch, our lives will magically be on track. We “treat” ourselves to a new sweater, new towels, or new shoes to soothe our loneliness. We seek to purchase forgiveness. We hope that by buying a loved one a splendid present, we will get them to love us more.

The truth about clutter is this: it distracts us. It pulls our attention away from our real desires. It draws our focus to the physical world, not our internal world.

You don’t have to be living in hoarder level clutter for physical clutter to get in the way of the kind of life you desire.

The over-stuffed closet keeps you from easily and quickly preparing yourself to face the world. Instead of lifting you up, it drags you down. The linen closet full of ratty towels and sheets you don’t ever use distracts you from creating who you desire to be every damned time you open the door. And those boxes of “memories” stacked in the attic or basement or under your bed are what you really think about when you try to envision how a nourishing life would be.

The hidden clutter calls to us, reminding us of past failures at creating a perfect life. Clutter blocks your dreams.

When I was a little girl, I was always getting in trouble for having a messy room. No matter where you turned, my spaces were filled. Under the bed were boxes with toys. My dresser drawers were stuffed to the gills with nightgowns, t-shirts, and shorts. My bookshelves were double stacked with books. My desk drawers were filled with papers. My closet was jammed with clothes and toys. One of the reasons my room was always messy was I had way too much stuff.

My mother would berate me for my messiness, and the next day buy me a new Barbie or several outfits.

And I carried that way of living forward when I married and moved into my own home.

I pretended to the outside world that my life was perfect all those years, but inside I was lonely and sad. One of the reasons the outside-in-view of my White Picket Fence life looked so perfect is that my house was filled with all kinds of dishes, linens, towels, books, DVDs, shoes, and clothes.

I filled every space to overflowing in hopes that I would finally feel loved.  I hoped that an abundance of physical stuff would equate an abundance of positive emotions. I hoped that if I bought just the right set of dishes, my husband would enjoy what I cooked (he never liked my cooking). I filled my closets with clothes and linens and books, but never found satisfaction. I distracted myself from the fact that my marriage was emotionally barren (and emotionally abusive) by filling up my bookshelves and showering my children with toys and clothes.

When we divorced, he took his clothes and a few pieces of furniture. He left me with most of the furniture, dishes, and knick knacks so he could start fresh. I even helped him set up his apartment with new furniture.  In those first few weekends alone, when the girls went to his place, I came to realize that I couldn’t move forward when I was buried under mountains of worn out furniture and broken dreams.

I made the connection that I was never able to buy enough soft linens or pretty clothes to sooth the aching isolation I felt from myself during those years. I finally began to feel the stirrings of a life that felt supportive when I started clearing my spaces.

As I rid my closet of clothes that didn’t fit or I didn’t love, the sexiest and sassiest version of who I was born to be emerged. As I hauled broken furniture to the curb, my dreams began to come together.

When I started clearing out the physical stuff that was in my way, I realized that I had control of my own life. The way to usher my dreams into my reality was to take my own happiness by the horns and stop filling my environment with crap I didn’t love.

Then, I did something almost unimaginable. When I moved to Ohio to merge my life with JB, I packed only what would fit in my car and left all the shattered memories and “should haves” behind. I took the most important treasure, though: my sense of true self wrapped up in the knowledge that if I wanted to love my life, I needed to cultivate the kind of environment that helped me thrive.

The attitude I brought to Ohio with me was to only bring into our home what we loved. Our lower floor stayed empty for the first year here as we waited to find furniture that we loved and would support our lifestyle. Our entry hall was barren for three years until we found just the right piece to bring a sense of openness and welcome to entering our home.

Though I joke about it with friends, when I’m feeling blocked or burned out, the first thing I do is clear off my desk and clean the kitchen.

I’d never suggest to you that if you want to create a life you love, that you should leave everything behind and start fresh. However, I am going to tell you from experience that if you want a daily life that feels loving, supportive, and nourishing, the first place to look is around you.

Our most important resource is our precious attention and focus. When it comes to ushering your dreams out of your mind and into your everyday life, you need that attention to go towards yourself and your goals, not on the stacks and piles and overstuffed closets and drawers. Clutter blocks your dreams.

You deserve to live in a home that allows you to feel nourished. You deserve to feel loved exactly as you are. You are worthy of allowing your secret desires to be born into the world.  You deserve to be in a home that allows you to thrive. You shouldn’t have to simply attempt to survive. Remember that all sizes of clutter can shift your focus away from what matters – you and your dreams. Please, darling, allow the seeds of your desires to blossom. Don’t allow your clutter to keep you from finding your happiness.

If you need a little help clearing your clutter (both big and small), allow me to help you. 30 Days to Clarity: Clutter Busting will gently and lovingly help you clear your physical spaces.

 

Getting clear in your life by dealing with your physical clutter (big clutter and small clutter) will allow you to direct your precious energy towards creating the clear path to living your best possible life.Want more details? Click here for the 411.

Out of the Vault for 2017: Beginning Sunday, September 17th

Clutter Busting Edition – Course Investment: $21

Don’t Let Clutter Keep You From Moving Forward

One of the things that makes me happy is to be able to welcome a guest into our home. Whether it’s for a cup of coffee and some cake, a shared meal, or an overnight stay, I love being able to connect face-to-face with people I care about.

5290e95b21cb8f31c380c72b11a5a19cI’m an extrovert and it feeds my energy and my spirit to be with others.

In the not too distant past, an impromptu visitor would have meant me rushing around like a mad woman and stuffing things under beds and in closets (or hiding in the bedroom pretending I wasn’t home). And an overnight visitor would have meant a week of preparation.

Why? Because of clutter.  Yep. You read that right. My clutter blocked me from not only my need to be with others but negated one of my core values: connection.

So, a little bit of honesty: it was when I begin shedding stuff that I realized that it was in the way of me moving forward in my life.

Anyone walking into my house today would never guess that I’m a reformed clutter-holic.

You might get a glimpse of my spreadsheets or take one of my eClasses and assume that I am one of those Born Organized people. Oh, no, kitten, perish that thought! I may be logical, but I am not naturally neat or organized.

It was a skill I had to learn. And, frankly, it’s something I have to regularly tend to as part of the art of living.

When I tell you that clutter blocks you from conscious living, it isn’t because I just understand the concepts around your physical environment and stuff. No, darling, I learned the hard way that clutter of all sizes can block you from achieving your dreams.

Want to create a life you love? Clear the clutter blocking your path (Click to Tweet This).

Here’s some hard truth about clutter:

  • It’s impossible to organize too much stuff. Though I’ve never been fond of hearing this from those Born Organized folks, the fact of the matter is that everything needs to have a place.
  • No amount of stuff is going to make you feel happy or worthy. Sure, you may feel a little excited when you purchase that new pair of shoes, that thirtieth black sweater, or that cute dog bookend, but is it just going to be something you don’t wear or have to dust?
  • If you’re simply trying to survive and living on auto-pilot, you don’t realize how much your stuff is blocking you from stepping up in your own life.
  • Don’t keep things around you that make you feel guilty or shamed. I’m talking those ugly dishes from your Aunt Mildred, those exercise videos that you’ve watched once, and that pile of books you “should” read.
  • If your clothes don’t emulate how you want to feel, then why keep them? There’s no sense in shaming yourself with clothes that are too small or you paid too much for. Cut your losses and send your shame packing (or to Goodwill). Allow the things that don’t make YOU feel fabulous wearing  to bless someone else.
  • You deserve sacred space in your home. If you’re living in a messy environment, it’s hard to think or dream when you’re distracted. Choose one area of the house for yourself and clear it out. Not sure where to start? Start with your bedroom so that you can get better sleep!
  • Ditch anything that doesn’t match your soul’s journey. If you don’t love it or use it, it goes. If it doesn’t enliven or empower you to live all out, trash it.
  • Pockets of clutter can be as distracting as big piles. I’m talking about those junk drawers, your desk, and your purse. If you need a pen, your keys or a pair of scissors, having to hunt for them shifts your focus.

Want to become smitten with yourself? Get rid of everything that isn’t congruent with who you are and who you want to be. Want to focus on your goals? Get rid of the distractions and provide yourself with clear spaces so you can think. Want to become enchanted with your life? Begin with clearing what’s in the way.

Darling, if you want to create a daily life that you love, then you owe it to yourself to live an environment that encourages you to become besotted with the art of living.

Don’t buy into the belief that just because you weren’t born organized that you don’t deserve to live a beautiful life.

Want some help? Check out my Clutter Busting course. This is a 30-day email course that walks you through clearing physical clutter in your home.

How 30 Days to Clarity: Clutter Busting Works

I created the Clutter Busting Course to help you slowly clear your physical spaces. Each day of the class, an email will be delivered each day to your inbox with a task for the day to help you shed physical clutter. Each task will take less than 30 minutes – some will take less than five.

  • With each daily email, you’ll begin to create an environment that is rich and supportive of your dreams.
  • I’ll also be sharing some tips for getting out of the house each morning with less drama.
  • There will be bonus tips on prepping your home for the holidays – and guests!
  • And we’ll have tips, too, on how to set up a system so that you won’t miss important bills.

Getting clear in your life by dealing with your physical clutter (big clutter and small clutter) will allow you to direct your precious energy towards creating the clear path to living your best possible life.

Out of the Vault for 2017: Beginning Sunday, September 17th

Clutter Busting Edition – Course Investment: $21

You Don’t Have to Be Born Organized

There are also vases of fresh flowers throughout the house, bringing beauty into the house. On my list this week is to wash the windows in the 45c27c102f7c0875b3abd802a34f10a9kitchen and deck.

But don’t let me lead you into believing that my home is perfection. Nope. Hidden here and there are little pockets of clutter.

Earlier this week, I was putting away the dishes and kinda cringed when I opened the silverware drawer. And double cringed when I opened the this-is-where-my-kitchen-gadgets-live drawer.  I opened every drawer in the kitchen to see if perhaps one of them was neat and tidy to discover that, in fact, they were not. Oops.

One of the reasons I created my Clutter Busting classes a couple of years ago is because I know that even the most reformed clutter-bugs go through periods of making little (and big) messes.

My natural tendency is to toss everything not in the creative bubble somewhere out of the bubble, which usually means I find myself at the end of a launch or a completion of a project with little clutter pockets. It manifests in the kitchen with the mindless putting away of things. It manifests in the office with piles of papers to be filed and books to be put away. It manifests in the living room with magazines to be read and library books to be returned.

I’ve come to accept that it’s a part of who I am. I focus on a project to the nth degree and do my best to keep up the other areas of my life afloat. Sometimes,  I do an amazing job at keeping all the ball in my life in the air. Sometimes, I drop a few of those balls (purposely) because, baby, you cannot sanely do everything all the time.

No, darling, there are times when tiny areas of life deserve your full time devotion.

I used to berate myself for being messy. I’d say all kinds of mean things in my head about my inability to stay organized. I’d be lost in my creative bliss, open a drawer to find the scissors, and then stress out because I’d discovered hard evidence that anyone who walked into my house would SEE that I was a horrible person because I couldn’t keep things tidy.

THEN, the old me, upon discovery of this “fact”, would rush around like a crazy person trying to hide all the evidence of my imperfection. I’d flat out exhaust myself trying to organize every drawer and clear every surface, often winding up in angry tears at my inadequacies to keep house.

Wow! That wasn’t a very nice dialogue or action plan.

So, let me share with you what happens now.

  • I have accepted that I am who I am. I was not “born organized”, so I have to have systems in place. This includes things like making the bed each morning, not going to bed with dishes in the sink, and straightening my desk at the end of the day.
  • I have come to understand and accept that sometimes, my systems get out of whack. That doesn’t mean I’m failing or am a horrible person, it just means my energy is going towards something else.
  • Life is messy. It’s why the good people at Method created their lovely Lavender spray.
  • As soon as I realize I’m out of whack, I set a timer for 15 minutes and spend that time bringing order to ONE space. One single flat surface or one single drawer.
  • When things have gotten way out of whack, I create a plan. On paper. I choose a room a day to spend time in and tackle the spaces in 10 minute intervals (no more than three of them!).  I throw away or recycle as much as I can as I go. Within a week of doing this, inevitably I feel lighter.

I know it sounds simplistic, that tiny doses can bring me back to looking and feeling organized, but it works.

The purest truth I can share with you, though,  is that my soul finds it’s deepest peace when my physical world is neat and orderly. Clutter in any form – the messy drawers, the piles of paper, unfolded laundry, over-scheduled calendars, relationships that aren’t fulfilling – robs your soul of that peace.

Clutter, in fact, distracts each and every one of us from creating what we are meant to create and being who we are born to be. In order to be at our very best, we not only crave order, we need it.

It doesn’t have to be that way, darling. Your clutter doesn’t mean that you aren’t worthy of being loved and accepted for who you are. Your clutter is a bi-product of a creative life. And that’s ok. I promise you, though, that if you get your clutter tamed, you will create more work from a deeper sense of peace.

It may feel daunting to even contemplate an uncluttered existence, but if I can do it, I have faith that you can, too. It’s challenging to life your best life when you are surrounded by too much stuff.  It’s also overwhelming and can be challenging as to where to start.

What if I could help you? I may not be able to come over and help you sort through your closet, but I can be there in spirit.   Check out:  30 Days to Clarity:  Clutter Busting Edition.

If you need a little help clearing your clutter (both big and small), allow me to help you. 30 Days to Clarity: Clutter Busting is a loving and gentle way to clear your clutter.

How 30 Days to Clarity: Clutter Busting Works

Each day of the class, an email will be delivered each day to your inbox with a task for the day to help you shed physical clutter. Each task will take less than 30 minutes – some will take less than five.

  • With each daily email, you’ll begin to create an environment that is rich and supportive of your dreams.
  • I’ll also be sharing some tips for getting out of the house each morning with less drama.
  • There will be bonus tips on prepping your home for the holidays – and guests!
  • And we’ll have tips, too, on how to set up a system so that you won’t miss important bills.

Getting clear in your life by dealing with your physical clutter (big clutter and small clutter) will allow you to direct your precious energy towards creating the clear path to living your best possible life.

Out of the Vault for 2017: Beginning Sunday, September 17th

Clutter Busting Edition – Course Investment: $21

Don’t Let Clutter Blocks You From Conscious Living

One of the things that makes me happy is to be able to welcome a guest into our home. Whether it’s for a cup of coffee and some sadcluttercake, a shared meal, or an overnight stay, I love being able to connect face-to-face with people I care about.

I’m an extrovert and it feeds my energy and my spirit to be with others.

In the not too distant past, an impromptu visitor would have meant me rushing around like a mad woman and stuffing things under beds and in closets (or hiding in the bedroom pretending I wasn’t home). And an overnight visitor would have meant a week of preparation.

Why? Because of clutter.  Yep. You read that right. My clutter blocked me from not only my need to be with others but negated one of my core values: connection.

So, a little bit of honesty: it was when I begin shedding stuff that I realized that it was in the way of me moving forward in my life.

Anyone walking into my house today would never guess that I’m a reformed clutter-holic.

You might get a glimpse of my spreadsheets or take one of my eClasses and assume that I am one of those Born Organized people. Oh, no, kitten, perish that thought! I may be logical, but I am not naturally neat or organized.

It was a skill I had to learn. And, frankly, it’s something I have to regularly tend to as part of the art of living.

When I tell you that clutter blocks you from conscious living, it isn’t because I just understand the concepts around your physical environment and stuff. No, darling, I learned the hard way that clutter of all sizes can block you from achieving your dreams.

Want to create a life you love? Clear the clutter blocking your path (Click to Tweet This).

Here’s some hard truth about clutter:

  • It’s impossible to organize too much stuff. Though I’ve never been fond of hearing this from those Born Organized folks, the fact of the matter is that everything needs to have a place.
  • No amount of stuff is going to make you feel happy or worthy. Sure, you may feel a little excited when you purchase that new pair of shoes, that thirtieth black sweater, or that cute dog bookend, but is it just going to be something you don’t wear or have to dust?
  • If you’re simply trying to survive and living on auto-pilot, you don’t realize how much your stuff is blocking you from stepping up in your own life.
  • Don’t keep things around you that make you feel guilty or shamed. I’m talking those ugly dishes from your Aunt Mildred, those exercise videos that you’ve watched once, and that pile of books you “should” read.
  • If your clothes don’t emulate how you want to feel, then why keep them? There’s no sense in shaming yourself with clothes that are too small or you paid too much for. Cut your losses and send your shame packing (or to Goodwill). Allow the things that don’t make YOU feel fabulous wearing  to bless someone else.
  • You deserve sacred space in your home. If you’re living in a messy environment, it’s hard to think or dream when you’re distracted. Choose one area of the house for yourself and clear it out. Not sure where to start? Start with your bedroom so that you can get better sleep!
  • Ditch anything that doesn’t match your soul’s journey. If you don’t love it or use it, it goes. If it doesn’t enliven or empower you to live all out, trash it.
  • Pockets of clutter can be as distracting as big piles. I’m talking about those junk drawers, your desk, and your purse. If you need a pen, your keys or a pair of scissors, having to hunt for them shifts your focus.

Want to become smitten with yourself? Get rid of everything that isn’t congruent with who you are and who you want to be.

Want to focus on your goals? Get rid of the distractions and provide yourself with clear spaces so you can think.

Want to become enchanted with your life? Begin with clearing what’s in the way.

Darling, if you want to create a daily life that you love, then you owe it to yourself to live an environment that encourages you to become besotted with the art of living.

Don’t buy into the belief that just because you weren’t born organized that you don’t deserve to live a beautiful life.

How 30 Days to Clarity: Clutter Busting Works

I created the Clutter Busting Course to help you slowly clear your physical spaces. Each day of the class, an email will be delivered each day to your inbox with a task for the day to help you shed physical clutter. Each task will take less than 30 minutes – some will take less than five.

  • With each daily email, you’ll begin to create an environment that is rich and supportive of your dreams.
  • I’ll also be sharing some tips for getting out of the house each morning with less drama.
  • There will be bonus tips on prepping your home for the holidays – and guests!
  • And we’ll have tips, too, on how to set up a system so that you won’t miss important bills.

No matter how organized – or disorganized – you may be feeling now, by the end of the course, you’ll feel worlds lighter. It also promises to be a fun, effective and affordable way to make space in your life for what matters most.
Getting clear in your life by dealing with your physical clutter (big clutter and small clutter) will allow you to direct your precious energy towards creating the clear path to living your best possible life.

Out of the Vault for 2017: Beginning Sunday, September 17th

Clutter Busting Edition – Course Investment: $21

Create a Vision to Aim Your Arrows

I know something about you, darling. You have these delicious nuggets of desire, big dreams, and these longings of ideas that you know would work if you Aim the Arrow!dared.

You don’t move forward because you don’t know where to start. Or that inner voice inside of you tells you that you can’t succeed. Or you believe that you’re too old (or too fat or too uneducated).

Or maybe, just maybe, you believe that you don’t deserve to even verbalize your dreams, let alone achieve them.

Despite what you are thinking, darling, let me share with you that it’s possible.

Dreams don’t have to take place only at night, you can bring them into the light of day. Desires and beautiful glimpses into how you want to feel at the end of the day. Ideas can be nourished into reality.

But what I know is that you can’t just keep the dreams, longings and ideas in the “thinking” stage. No, darling, you have to take some action.

It’s why I’m crazy about creating a vision and a plan.

You see, creating a vision means that you’ll begin to be honest about what your heart desires. It means you’ll acknowledge the pieces of your life that you are simply tolerating.  Creating a vision means that you make a priority around what’s really important.

Creating a plan means that you know where to aim the arrow. You put your time, energy, and money to what matters.  Creating a plan allows you to plot your path.

By knowing where to aim your arrows, it will allow you to know where to begin. It’ time to shush that inner critic by taking action.

And darling, let me tell you: you are never too old, you are never too far gone, and you are never limited by a lack of education or other “too muchs”.

It’s time to choose love over fear.

It’s time to take a leap of faith into your desires.

Because, darling, it’s time to create the life of your dreams.

Need help creating a vision and a plan? Want more details? Click Here to learn more about Clearing Soul Clutter (Creating Your Vision).

2015 – Course Dates:

  • Sunday, March 29, 2015 to Tuesday, April 28, 2015
  • Sunday, September 13, 2015 to Tuesday, October 13, 2015



Planting Bulbs,Vision & Faith

W hen my ex-husband moved out of our house after seventeen years there together,  one of the first things I did was head to a local home improvement store to buy flowers. Though that was almost a decade ago, I can still clearly see the gold and bronze mums I purchased. Planting tulipsthem allowed me to get in touch with nature, a surefire way help me feel centered. It also allowed me to immediately transform a space.

I would be lying if I didn’t tell you that at times, I’m an instant-gratification kind of gal. I’d rather walk into a store and buy something than order it. I’d rather cook a meal than go through the process of driving somewhere, waiting for a table, and then waiting again for someone else to cook it. And when it comes to yard work, there’s nothing like clearing a flowerbed of weeds.

Best of all, though, is going to the landscaping store and purchasing pots of healthy flowers, then coming home and transplanting them into pots or flowerbeds, changing dull and boring to beautiful and awesome. The whole process makes me feel accomplished.

And no, I’ve never really enjoyed the process of planting flower seeds. There’s too long of a delay from planting to bloom. (And these days, you don’t really save much money).

I adore flowers. They show a sense of love around a home, whether in the yard or in vases around the house.

In addition to roses, spring and summer brought petunias and impatiens. The previous owners had planted a half-dozen tulips and a few crocuses. Our first fall in this house, I gifted JB a dozen daffodils, despite not yet knowing when (or if) I was going to live here.

Now that we’ve been here together for more than three years, I’ve seen what joy these few early spring shows of color have brought both of us. So, even though I’m much more satisfied with the whole process of buying flowers-in-bloom and planting them, in early September I spent some time envisioning an early spring display of tulips, hyacinths and daffodils.

The thing about tulips and daffodils and all those other early spring flowers, though, is that you have to plant them in the fall. Then, you have to wait through winter and the earliest days of spring for them to work through the displacement of earth and bloom.

This is a huge exercise for me not only in patience, but also in the process of creating a vision and a plan of action.  It’s a reminder to me that  transformations (that last) only seem to happen in an instant. And it’s a giant leap of faith.

Let’s talk about creating a vision and a plan. Darling, I believe that one of the best ways to live a life that you love is to begin with a vision of how you want to live it. You envision some of the big stuff: what kind of work sets your soul on fire, what kinds of relationships make you feel nourished and supported, and where you want to live.

You also envision some of the little stuff, too. Like, what kind of activities and rituals would create the perfect first hour of your day. And how you want to feel when you climb into bed at night. These little details will help you realize when you’re on the right track towards that BIG Juicy vision of living. They are clues and rewards.

Then, if you want to take a vision into reality, you must take action. I’m not an advocate of planning each and every moment of the day, but I do know that you need to plan for the milestones.

Plans in my world are things like creating an outline for your book. Or following the Couch Potato to 5K milestones of adding time to your runs. Or redecorating your home by beginning with a new sofa. What doesn’t mean planning to me? A dictatorial view of living with each moment planned. You still want to allow for a little serendipity!

Creating a vision means that you give up the idea the all transformations happen instantaneously. We are human and though making a decision can have the instant mindset affect, we still have to be willing to be patient. This is another area where visions and plan marry well.

Creating a vision is also a heck of a lot about faith.

It means that you can see yourself as being worthy of accomplishing a big goal. It means that you have a desire to break through resistance and move towards what you desire. It means choosing love instead of fear.

Having faith means that you’re willing to invest in your vision. Maybe it’s by taking a class, hiring a coach, or buying something with the gut knowledge that it’s going to serve you in the future.

Having faith also means that you are willing to take leaps without knowing how things are going to turn out. It means waiting through he really dark and cold times that are inevitable in the course of being human, because, baby, life is never going to be always perfect.

So, yes, planting bulbs this week was an example of the way I now approach life.  To be honest, the me almost a decade ago couldn’t have done this.

I had this vision of a beautiful display of early spring flowers. I planned a variety of flowers to take advantage of different colors, heights, and bloom time. I invested money and time into the planning and ordering. Then, when the bulbs arrived, I invested time and energy into planting.

And now comes the faith part. I have to have faith that the bulbs were planted at the right depth and will make it through the winter. I have to have faith that they bloom. I also have to have faith that I’ll stay healthy and be able to see them.

My gut tells me that this small plan of flowers is about something bigger. It’s about investing in my relationship and my home. It’s about nurturing myself and JB.

It’s also about love. Loving myself enough to understand that I deserve the life I envision. Loving myself enough to know that I don’t have to transform overnight to deserve love.

What about you? Do you have a vision for your life? Is there a small portion that you can envision the details? Is it time to begin creating a plan for your life instead of just living by the seat of your pants? Are you willing to step out in faith for your vision?

Are you ready to write your own love story?

PS – Need help creating a vision? Want more details? Click Here to learn more about Clearing Soul Clutter (Creating Your Vision).

2015 – Course Dates:

  • Sunday, March 29, 2015 to Tuesday, April 28, 2015
  • Sunday, September 13, 2015 to Tuesday, October 13, 2015



Getting Back on the Saddle to Living a Life You Love

No matter who you are or what you desire in your life, there will have been a time when you feel as if you’ve gotten off track to your goals and desires.

And I get it. We move forward two paces and take one step back. Then we make these huge leaps forward and need to stand still and catch our dale-buttermilk-tvbreath.  It’s part of the cycle of living.

There will be a time during this cycle when you realize it was time for me to get back in the saddle, so to speak.

Maybe, like me, you got off track in your goals around fitness because you got involved in a project for work. Maybe you were working on a book, or wrote in your journal lately, but had to handle a family crisis.

Or maybe, you just got frustrated because you weren’t getting the exact outcome you desired.

I thought we’d venture out together and get back on the saddle of living the life of our deepest desires. Because, baby I’m all about boldly towards a goal, dream or desire. And I know that you have big dreams and goals, too.

So, here’s fourteen tricks for getting back in the saddle towards what you want.  Because, baby, it’s never too late to get back on the horse, even if you fell of years ago!

Say Hello to Awareness

Be honest with yourself and examine the past few months in your life. Where exactly did you get off path? What was the trigger? What was the fear around it? When did a delight become a should?  This isn’t about beating yourself up for stopping your forward motion or abandoning an idea. It’s simply looking with curiosity, and stepping away from judgment. Awareness is a beautiful thing!

Listen to Your Heart

What do you want, darling? Don’t choose some unrealistic goal based on some arbitrary outside expectation. Figure out how you want to feel and create a goal focused on that feeling. Listen to the soft voice of your heart for the answers, because your heart knows what you really desire. Don’t hesitate to dive into mediation or prayer. And don’t underestimate the value of working things out on paper. (Clearing Brain Clutter is a spectacular way to figure out what you want)

Allow Yourself a Fresh Start

Every day is an opportunity to begin fresh.  You can adjust your focus, change your words of the year, get back on path and rededicate yourself to your desires any day. Give yourself permission.

Create a Plan

Though rigidity isn’t a way to move forward with a lasting change, it’s hard to go in any direction without a plan. This doesn’t have to be a detailed plan, but at least create a general plan based on how you want to feel and the vision of where you want to go. (Clearing Soul Clutter begins Oct. 12th and can help)

Focus on One Thing

I’m a huge fan of big change and know that it’s possible. I did it at the end of 2010. I also know that big changes don’t happen overnight. Choose one are of your life to focus on and allow the others to fall into place. Trying to “fix” everything at once will be like throwing spaghetti at the wall: some of it will stick, some of it will fall to the wayside, and no matter where it lands, you’re going to have a mess. Honing your focus to one thing allows you to create a habit that sticks before you tackle something new.

Save the Date

Like choosing a date for a wedding, mark a date on your calendar that will signal the First Day of your new plan to begin. Like the first day of fall or the first day of school, choosing a date comforts your mind and gives you a target for giving your intention legs. Mark it on your calendar. Share this date with friends or family members. Tweet it. Blog it. Sing it to the world.

Embrace Structure

Don’t underestimate how supportive nourishing routines can be.  While they may seem restrictive, routines are actually about freedom.  Routines help you manage your energy effectively so that you can channel it towards your real desires and purpose.  Routines fuel your day and nourish your spirit. What structure do you need to put into place to support your goal or desire?

Add Review

A weekly review allows you to really sharpen your intuitive focus so that the things that really matter to you don’t fall away in the busy-ness.   It lets you to see where you’ve been and where you’re heading. A weekly review is one of the keys to staying on top of projects and assignments while helping keep you on track for your goals. This is the time to ask if what you’re doing is actually moving you towards your desired feeling.

Create a Minimum Weekly Requirement

As a part of my weekly review time, I create a minimum weekly requirement for the coming week. Maybe it’s 10 minutes of writing a day or a walk three days next week. Maybe it’s 100 push-ups during the coming week. Commit to a minimum for the coming week that feels both doable and a bit of a push.

Make No Excuses

Be honest with yourself about what you’ve done and where you are. Not meet your minimum weekly requirement?  Why?  You don’t have to answer to anyone but yourself, but no matter what bumps in the road you had, don’t make excuses or justify why you didn’t.  Choose to accept you did what you could, the best that you could, and move forward.

Forgive Yourself

I’m all about the concept of Compassionate Discipline. As humans want to experience pleasure over pain (at least most of the time).  Words like “goals” “discipline” and “action” seem worlds away from pleasure.  Of course I want to feel good.  I want ease and flow!  I want unlimited cupcakes, lattes and days where my writing flows and my morning run is fabulous.

Compassionate discipline brings  clarity and deliberateness to the game and trumps that a momentary tantrum.

It also means that when we don’t meet our goals, we don’t beat ourselves up.  Instead, compassionate discipline allows us to forgive ourselves and move forward.

Treat Yourself

Set up rewards for yourself for moving forward. Maybe it’s flowers from the grocery store or a coffee date with a friend. Maybe it’s a special date night or new mascara. My reward for sticking to better body care has been the bi-weekly commitment of a regular massage.

Be Accountable & Get Help

Get someone else on your team.  Though you have to do the work yourself, it doesn’t mean that you can’t get support or get help.  Hire a coach. Join a class. Find a trainer. Get a walking buddy. Tell your best friend. Enlist your partner. Give someone else permission to ask where you are on your goals. (JB is my accountability partner on my movement goals and we’re stretching together!)

Celebrate

Darling, there’s nothing better than a little celebration about your progress. Record it in your journal. Tweet it. Brag on your Facebook Page. Don’t make light of your accomplishments! It isn’t egotistical to celebrate.

Darling, life is indeed short, but it is never too late to create the kind of life you desire. And in order to create that life you want – and deserve – it means you have to take action. Try these tricks for getting back in the saddle around one of your goals.  So, fess up: what area of your life do you want to change before the end of the year? What do you want to create? What do you want, baby?

Image is of the Lovely Dale Evans, whom I met when I was 12. Her mother was in the same hospital as my grandmother.She was long retired and an utterly beautiful human soul.

IWant more details? Click Here to learn more about Clearing Soul Clutter (Creating Your Vision).

2015 – Course Dates:

  • Sunday, March 29, 2015 to Tuesday, April 28, 2015
  • Sunday, September 13, 2015 to Tuesday, October 13, 2015



A Vision Begins with Awareness

Once upon a time, I believed that I could fix my life (and my marriage) by getting Redfintailcarskinny, making a lot of money and surrounding myself with stuff.  I created unrealistic ideals of how life would be “perfect” if I could just get “there.”

And I believed that by getting “there” I would suddenly change all of the screwed up dynamics in my family.

In the meantime, I put on all the masks and disguises to make it appear as if I were living the perfect white-picket-fence life.  And, frankly my dear, it was exhausting.

So, a few things were wrong with my thinking:

  • I believed that looking at – and changing – external factors could create satisfaction with life.
  • I believed in the mythical “there” and that if I could just reach “there” I would be happy.
  • I believed that I could change others by morphing myself into who they wanted me to be.
  • I believed that what I wanted and desired wasn’t important.
  • I believed all kinds of “truths” about myself. I believed lies and excuses over what I knew in my heart.

And then, one day, the lock on the gate to my perfect white-picket fence-appearing life rusted right off and the gate opened.  For months (and months) I gazed upon the grass outside the open gate, too afraid to put a toe across the line.

And, as anyone who has taken their own walk through the fire will tell you, I had to hit rock bottom in my marriage and life in order to gather enough courage to walk out that damned gate.

What did it take for me to put on my big-girl panties and my best high heels?

A real good understanding of this thing called “acceptance,” and the realization  that I no longer wanted to tolerate a hell of a lot of things in my life.

  • I didn’t want to tolerate a façade of a marriage.
  • I didn’t want to tolerate a life without love, intimacy and sex.
  • I didn’t want to tolerate sacrificing my dreams in an attempt to make someone else happy.
  • I didn’t want to tolerate the constant wearing of masks in every moment of existence.
  • I didn’t want to tolerate not living and not creating.
  • I didn’t want to tolerate ignoring my basic needs of self-care.
  • I didn’t want to tolerate having no faith in myself, my innate creativity or my intuition.

So, what did I do?  I put on some sexy high heels, armored myself with stockings and lipstick, and gathered enough faith and courage to step out of the damned gate.

Of course, now that I had this epiphany around the concepts of love and faith and courage, I became impatient to get  to create change.  NOW.  I wanted to jump ahead and transform my life overnight.

I wanted to leave every single thing I had tolerated for so many years behind.

Let me tell you, sister.   Though fairy tales and rock stars make us believe that there is an opportunity to be an overnight success, in reality, that just doesn’t happen.  You have to begin exactly where you are.

Change takes time. It’s about baby steps.  It’s about choosing a destination and plotting a course. And it’s about beginning to move forward.

I believe that amazing and radical changes are possible.  But they don’t happen overnight.  You plant seeds, push the dirt of resistance aside, and eventually you begin to bloom.

The true keys to creating a life you love include:

  • Awareness of where you are and what you are tolerating.
  • Accepting the fact that you can only begin where you are (and that you cannot skip ahead to the fun or juicy parts).
  • Creating a vision of who you want to be, what you want to do with you time and your life, and how you want that to look.
  • Planning the steps on how to get there.
  • Taking action.  Yes, darling, you have to get dirt under you nails.

I’ll be flat out honest with you, baby: sometimes growing in awareness and clarity can be painful, especially if you judge yourself for what you might see.

And it isn’t sexy.  In fact, during my most aware moments, I was a hot mess.

But then, there is the other side of awareness: it’s like stepping into a crystal clear stream on a hot Texas Day: cooling and refreshing.

Refreshing because you are taking off your masks and standing in the glorious nakedness of who you were born to be in this world.

And when you begin leaning into the awareness…accepting where you are… this is when you begin creating a life you want to live instead of simply existing or reacting.

What about you, darling?  Are you ready to make changes in your life?  Are you ready to let go of the excuses?  Are you ready to be honest with yourself as to what you really desire in your life?

What is the brutal reality of the number one thing you are tolerating?

Are you ready to be held accountable for what you say you want?  Are you ready to take responsibility for changing your life and let go of the blame game?

Then, darling.  It’s time.  It’s time to embrace the awareness.  Yes, darling, the good, the bad and the ugly parts of it.  It’s time to take that awareness, accept where you are and create a plan to make your dreams a reality.

You can do it, darling.  You deserve it. I have so much faith.

Are you where I was a decade ago:  standing on the edges afraid to take that first step into awareness?  Want help hashing out a vision and a plan in order to create a life you love? Get some help.

Create your Big Juicy Vision + a Plan: 30 Days to Clarity – Clearing Soul Clutter – Creating Your Vision
Want more details? Click Here to learn more about Clearing Soul Clutter (Creating Your Vision).

2015 – Course Dates:

  • Sunday, March 29, 2015 to Tuesday, April 28, 2015
  • Sunday, September 13, 2015 to Tuesday, October 13, 2015



And if group coaching isn’t your thing, check out my one-on-one coaching opportunities.  Schedule a chat with me.  And if we aren’t a fit? Ask me for a referral to a coach who may better fit your needs.

Don’t Let Guilt Bury You: 60 Types Clutter You Can Ditch

Years ago, I made the mistake of believing that if I surrounded myself with enough stuff, it would make me feel loved, safe or worthy.

I had grown up with the lesson that a new book or a new outfit was the solution to sadness.  I tried to soothe the fact that my (then) boxeshusband was rarely home by buying knick knacks and linens.  I tried to assuage the ache of loneliness by filling it with sweaters and books.  I showered my kids with over-abundant amounts of videos and toys to cover the fact that their father would rather spend time at the gym than playing with his kids.

Needless to say, the clutter I tried to fill emotional holes with caused additional fights in an already fragile relationship.

I  was exhausted and thought that if I had just the right clothes or make-up, it would make me feel more attractive and vibrant.  What I discovered, though, that hanging onto things I didn’t need, didn’t like, or didn’t use actually drained my energy.

What about you, darling?  Have you been filling your space with stuff to make yourself feel better?  Do your surroundings enhance your life or make you feel stressed?  Is your wardrobe made up of tasteful pieces that you will wear for seasons to come or is it crammed with items you rarely wear?

Don’t get me wrong.  I believe it’s important to surround yourself with items that make you love your life.  Just don’t surround yourself with stuff in order to fill a lack of love for yourself or your life.

There are all kinds of excuses for not getting rid of that china or keeping that hideous yellow dress.  But the fact of the matter is, we keep things for two reasons – because we love them or because we fear we will feel guilty or hurt someone’s feelings if we ditch it.

Don’t allow guilt to keep you buried in stuff you don’t need.  In fact, here are sixty types of clutter you can ditch today:

  1. Blue Eyeshadow.  We aren’t in high school anymore.
  2. Clothes that you are hanging onto because they may come back in style. If you wore it the first time around, you probably shouldn’t wear it the second time around.
  3. Every free “gift with purchase” cosmetic case
  4. Every single lipstick color you bought on a whim that you hate.
  5. Lotions and potions that you don’t like, didn’t work, or smell icky.
  6. Old blankets and linens you keep in case you suddenly have 27 sleepover guests.
  7. Shoes that hurt your feet.
  8. Shoes you haven’t worn in years.
  9. Single Earrings.
  10. Socks without partners.
  11. Underwear that is stained or has holes in it.
  12. All your class notes from college.
  13. College text books.
  14. Credit Card statements or other documents you are keeping for tax purposes.  Shred anything  dated prior to 2005.
  15. The stacks of magazines you swear you’ll re-read.
  16. Those books that you keep saying you will read.  But only keep on your bookshelf because they make you look “smart”.
  17. Those magazines that you are keeping because of all the great recipes you plan to cut out (cut out the recipe, and recycle the rest)
  18. Oh, and speaking of magazines, either send the   you want to send to friends or save for yourself or recycle them already.
  19. All the cross-stitch, knitting, or sewing projects you never finished. Just THINK of all the extra creative energy you’ll have once you’ve let those go.
  20. All those scrapbooking supplies. Because deep down you know you the idea of making a scrapbook makes you cranky.
  21. Half-full cans of paint.  If you are keeping them simply to record the paint color, take a photo and create a file on your hardrive labeled “house”.
  22. Those craft supplies you have set aside for when you have time to get crafty!
  23. CD’s you haven’t listened to in three years or more.
  24. Headsets that no longer work.  Or those free airline headsets that hurt your ears.
  25. Lamps, toasters, blenders, coffeemakers that no longer work.
  26. Old computers.
  27. 3 ½ inch floppy disks.  (Don’t tell me you still have 5 ¼ floppy disks, too…)
  28. Old stereo, video, or computer wires. If your hubby doesn’t want you to trash them, put them in a bin labeled “Random Cables”  with the DATE.  After a year, take ‘em to Best Buy.
  29. Old stereos.
  30. Old VHS movies If they’re really that important to you, get them in DVD.  Better yet, borrow them from the library.
  31. Record albums. And don’t spend your extra hours in a day trying to figure out if someone will buy them. Really. They won’t.
  32. Remote controls that don’t remotely control anything you still own.
  33. The boxes of cassettes you’ve been meaning to transfer to CD’s.
  34. The stationary bike that got even more stationary after you got it
  35. Unlabeled VHS tapes. And don’t waste your time watching them just in case.
  36. Your last four cell phones and all their chargers and blue teeth.
  37. Any glassware or dinnerware that is a “memorabilia” item from proms or sororities or sports events.  Do we really need Class of 1986 Champagne glasses?
  38. Empty butter dishes.  Invest in some inexpensive GLAD containers or Tupperware.
  39. Heirloom dishes you will never use
  40. The “good silver” you don’t use that was passed down to you.
  41. The bread maker. Seriously. When was the last time you made bread?
  42. Tupperware containers without lids
  43. Vases you don’t love or use.
  44. Old keys that open some door somewhere in the past.
  45. Anything that makes you say, “But I got such a good price on it!”
  46. Anything that you are hanging on to because you paid a lot of money for it.
  47. Broken toys that you plan to fix
  48. The idea that you have to save every piece of your children’s artwork and school work because it might mean you don’t love them if you don’t.  Save less than a dozen and photograph the rest!
  49. Candles you won’t burn because they stink.
  50. Figurines gathering dust.
  51. Any kind of collectable you are hanging onto because it might one day be “valuable”
  52. Gifts you never liked.
  53. House plants you no longer love.
  54. Broken furniture.
  55. Picture frames you don’t love or use.
  56. The doilies that your Aunt Lilly crocheted that were handed down to you.  Doilies just gather dust….and do we really need them anymore? (Ditto with the afghan on the back of the couch!)
  57. All the hotel key cards you’ve brought home with you.
  58. All the hotel soaps that you took with you. (And stop taking them. You’ve got plenty of soap!  Give ‘em to a local homeless shelter)
  59. Suitcases you don’t use.
  60. The belief that you only have to go through the de-cluttering process once and won’t ever have to do it again.

Darling, you have so many gifts to share with the world.  You have the opportunity to create a life you are head-over-heels in love with.  Don’t allow clutter to drain your precious focus and attention!

I know it can feel overwhelming.  The biggest challenge can be where to start. What if I could help?

I may not be able to come over and help you sort through your closet, but I can be there in spirit. 

30 Days to Clarity:  Clutter Busting Edition may be the answer you need .  What better way to move toward the fall with a lighter heart and clearer vision of what you want in your beautiful life than to clear out the clutter that’s distracting you?

Tell me, darling: what one area of your world can you clear to make room for a life you love? Want more details? Click here for the 411.

Out of the Vault for 2017: Beginning Sunday, September 17th

Clutter Busting Edition – Course Investment: $21

Snag My Secret for Getting Clear

Darling, are you tired of colliding thoughts? Do you feel as if your passions have been buried under layers and layers of existing? Are you so overwhelmed with “to-dos” that you don’t have time to acknowledge what you really desire?

brainclutter_writingAre you channeling Scarlett O’Hara and vowing to think about what you really want tomorrow?

Would you like to know my secret for getting clearer about what you want, an effective trick for making a decision, a path to tame battling thoughts and gain clarity around just about anything troubling your mind?

Putting words to paper.

One of the biggest challenges my clients discuss with me is around clutter.

Clients tell me about colliding thoughts and overwhelming to-do lists.   Important tasks are forgotten.  Long term desires and goals are ignored because there “isn’t enough time” to put them in our schedules.

I’m sure you were hoping I’d gift you with a magic wand that you could wave to make your heart’s desires crystal clear.

Or a magic pill that would suddenly part the clouds in your mind like the sun on a rainy day.

Or a the secret location to a mystic waterfall that will wash away your the layers hardening your heart.

Darling, the truth is that you have to get a little ink on your fingers to clear that mental clutter.

It seems both simple and daunting to ponder.  However, let me share with you what can happen when you take what’s swirling around in your head and committing it to paper:

  • Take inventory
  • Remember the details
  • Frees up mental capacity
  • Gets you unstuck
  • Refine ideas
  • Break down big and vague ideas into something manageable
  • Create manageable tasks
  • Create awareness
  • Unearth the truth
  • Discover your heart’s desires
  • Uncover your soul’s needs
  • Delete what is draining your energy
  • Release pain
  • Choose where to put your focus
  • Filter out reactionary actions
  • Seal a vow between your heart and your mind
  • Create a vision
  • Pinpoint what actions are more effective
  • Take Action
  • Record moments of self-realization
  • Create new paths of thought
  • Promote emotional healing
  • Remind yourself of new routines until they become habits
  • Monitor your progress
  • Stay on track
  • Create a life you love

So, darling, if you want to go from dreamer to do-er, grab a pen and paper (or sit down to a blank page at your keyboard) and take the swirling fragments in your head and release them into the world.

I have so much faith that you can peel away the layers around your heart and create a life you adore.

Are you ready to clear your mind but not sure where to start? Need a little help uncovering the answers?  Realize you’re not quite sure what questions to even ask yourself? 30 Days to Clarity: Clearing Brain Clutter – Discovering Your Heart’s Desires is a loving place to start.

Now Available as a Fully-Downloadable Course.

Upon signing up you’ll receive a workbook containing all 30 lessons. There are also dozens of worksheets and writing prompts to take you from cobwebs in your brain to a clear thinking and the ability to listen to the small, still voice of your heart.

No more waiting for the course to begin or that next email. You can begin at any time.

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You deserve to fall head over heels in love with your life.  Let me help you methodically baby-step your way from brain clutter to mental clarity.

The Investment: $21

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